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Flood!

Posted on December 27, 2008August 8, 2016 by Josh

NEAR MISS!

So, here in south-eastern Michigan, on December 27th, just 2 days after Christmas, we have a flood-watch in effect. WTF? It is rainy and all of the snow is melting. All of the ice blocks are diminishing and running off in their little streams towards the rivers and drains. While some may rejoice in this odd, out of season weather by hanging out in their shorts on their new balconies, I think there is some cause for alarm. I mean, it IS Michigan, and it SHOULD be cold and snowy and unpleasant. Every venture out of the house should be a life and death adventure of man vs. wild, pitting our best wooley sweaters against all the fury of the Everlasting Winter of The Gods of The North as it descends upon us for a season testing our mettle and worth. Not this year. Not today.

Today the ice melts, and the weather is mild. All we have to worry about is too much ice melting too fast. I’m sort of rooting for this. You see, if the ice melts very fast, and rains or rainy snow keeps happening, then the ceiling in my previous apartment may collapse even faster, and I can watch and laugh as it falls. As it stands right now, the area of my apartment where my desk once was has a swampy marsh where the carpet is supposed to be, and the ceiling is all shades of brown, orange, and rust instead of the boring white it once was before I was forced to move. Had I not forced the move upon myself and my family, just about a week before the holidays, then my 32″ wide-screen flat-panel monitor would be dead, at the very least, judging by the location of the main leak in the ceiling, and the water’s trajectory. I am willing to go so far as to say it would ALL be fried by now. NEAR MISS.

So, even though the emergency moved pretty much drained our holiday account, we DO have a fancy new apartment, and it even has a balcony. So, until the alarming weather clears, I plan on hanging out on my balcony, in my shorts, laughing it up as I wait for the rest of that ceiling to go, camera in hand, drafting my request for free rent.

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